My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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