i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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