She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
