So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
