i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Green mimosas i think yes
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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