We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
