his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
