I just cut my nipple shaving
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
