My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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