toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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