What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
