so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
