dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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