I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
How's work?
Spinning.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
