so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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