(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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