I'm drive I can fine osifer
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
