The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
