It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
