the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
