My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
