If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
