Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
