trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
