we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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