Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We have so much sex to catch up on
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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