Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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