You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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