honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Randomize
