May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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