I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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