He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
