im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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