i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
