I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
