he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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