Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Randomize
