Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
