I love black thongs
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
