Im at strip club and am horny
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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