Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
