Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
