dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My dick has a subreddit
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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