That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
