Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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