You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
