No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
