I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
