when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
