Do vagina's smell?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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