dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
